The Holiday Report….

This is the city.
This is Baltimore city.
Strange things happen here.
Like the fact that I am now sporting a head full of pink and yellow hair!!!!! >:-(
And before anyone says anything, it was not what I was going for. Long story short, due to In-Law impatience and the wrath of them coming down on Den and trickling down to me, I had to remove the bleach from my hair (was going from red to blonde) out five minuets before it was due. GRRRRR!!!!! Needless to say that the trip to the In-laws and the visit there on my part was chilly.
The funniest thing was Malani opening up her birthday gift, Dec 28th baby, and loudly exclaiming “Ohhh! Cubic Zirconium,” when she opened a box of earrings. What can i say? She gets it from both her dad and I. *g* I missed most of the gift giving. I am not going to lie. I was dead tired, mad, and I had Pink and frickin Yellow hair!!! Plus Renee and I had worked the night before. I now have a secondary job as a bathroom attendant in a strip club. I think some of the girls would like to see Renee and I swinging around a pole or two, but we respectfully declined. More like, “HELL NO!” in the nicest terms possible. *g* But a lot of note taking and brainstorming goes on so its cool. You just get home at 4:30 in the AM. So I was not in the mood for In-law hi-jinks. After falling asleep on the dining room table more than once, Den suggested that I take a nap in the family room and I took up his proposition and beat feet. It kept me away form people trying to remove my big furry cat hat and seeing the embarrassing mess that was my hair. Den’s brother tried to remove my hat while I was huddling under a blanket and hiding and it pissed me off more. I took the hat off finally to a group of people telling me that Yellow and Frickin Pink hair was cute. LIARS!!!!!! The lies only pissed me off further. Sigh. I dodged the MIL’s “My hair was orange once, Get some Clairol!” comments without a major curse out. When most Black women go for extreme colors like the near white blonde I was going for, you have to chemically bleach your hair first! Not healty for hte hair. Thus I will be wearing a wig to work tonight because I have another day before I can bleach it again. DAMN! WAS 5 MINUETS TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR???? Sigh.
WE went home and the kids hit the computer system to play with some of their prezzies and I went to bed with promises of this never happening again dancing thought my head. YEAH!
Next morning, we got ready and headed to Mom’s. I love m mommy. She gave me hugs, told me my hair was hideous and I needed to keep it under a scarf or a wig until I could fix it. Sniffle! Honesty! I really really love my mom! That made me feel better! LOL And mom, as the saying goes, put both feet into her meal! *g* Ham, fresh greens, string beans, potato salad, corn bread, biscuits, dressing, fried chicken…. ALL MADE FROM SCRATCH! *g* YEAH! She made pound cake with real butter, sweet potato pie,¬† red velvet cake, chocolate cake…. Can you say Hog heaven? Ah! I think I ate until i was about to pop. We all did. Den crashed on teh couch! LOL Poor thing, working overtime for the past 2 months. So we stayed and talked, and I teased my older sister to the point where she swung at me, missed, and knocked her own contact lens out! ROTFLMAO¬† Good time was had by all and I got to play with my newest baby nephew….Well, more like horded him because he was making me feel better.
Went home and dreamed of stomach pain. Really, I dreamed I was in so much pain it had me twisting and turning on the bed. But hten Renee called and it was time to hit the 6 am after Christmas sale. Somehow, it was not the mad dash we were expecting, LOL I got some good deals on some hat stuff for new hat designs. Woo Hoo!!! I was not feeling so hot, so Renee and I decided not to go and work the club. We were home before 9, I think, and I crashed.
It was fine…until I started peeing blood.
Then it was, I have 2 options. I can wait until I do it again, wait until tomorrow because really, who wants to go to the hospital and I wasn’t in any pain, or I could go. I queried Renee for an opinon and she about yelled at me through the computer. The gist was GET YOU ASS TO THE EMERGENCY ROOM!
But it was snowing and the bed was warm….. Fine. I drove myself to the hospital. SIGH.
Filled out the paperwork, explained the issue, and was seen within five minuets. Say what you want about Baltimore, but our health services are top notch.
The Flash Effect was in full play. I left my insurance card at home. I was peeing what looked like pure blood in the sample cup. I had to walk that sample back to triage. I was carrying my coat and my computer. I wanted my mommy. I wanted a hug. I wanted to go back to my nice warm bed.
So I tucked everything away, staggered to the front carrying everything, and whimpered at the triage nurse, “This hurts.” Aparently there is something about pain in my records cause they all but dragged me back to treatment room 10. I was soon outfitted with a nifty hospital gown and an IV of my very one. A really nice doctor, who’s ethnicity I could not put a finger on, examined me, stared up my nose, told me that my migraines were from swollen sinus passages everywhere and that it looked like I had a urinary tract infection…but they needed blood tests to confirm. Blood was drawn and some good stuff was shot into my IV for the headache. It was then that I somehow decided that I should be working…on sex scenes. I htink I posted something like YEAH DRUGS on facebook. LOL But I got some work done and waited and waited and waited. Remember the Flash Effect? Well my blood sample broke the machine. It was just serviced and when they got to me, it broke. The long wait was extended but I got a nice IV bag out of it. Then the came to tell me that my blood sample showed a bad UTI, but not bad enough to have caused some dammage. I was asked how long I had been in pain and they kind f shook their heads when i looked at the clock and asked when was i brought back? I uh, had the infection for some time but didn’t feel it. Sigh. The pain started then. They hmmmmed at me and made notations. I was given IV pain meds, a horse pill to swallow, and a hit of antibiotics in my IV. High was not the word. And then I had to beg them to let me go home to my nice warm bed because the kids were there my themselves. Den had to work. So after they fed me another bag of fluids, I signed a release and made my way home. It’s only five minuets away and made my way home.
Blah, bah, blah, front door open at around midnight, blah blah, blah, yell at son doe playing video games while the front door is open at midnight, leave trail of clothing up the stairs and into the bedroom, whimper cause I was alone and needed a bug hug. Dev brought me tea.
Lets just say since then I have been in pain, laying down, or drugged to the gills. But I have to pull it together. Work tonight. *g* And then new years! WOO HOO!¬† Here’s hoping that 2011 is better than 2010!
This is the City.
This is the City of Baltimore.
Within it dwell some of the strangest creatures… including….
Flash, who has to down 3 friggin horse pills down for the next 14 days, who has pink lemonade hair, and can walk upright this morning! Progress!!!

Have You Been Flashed?
Stephanie Burke