I have plans! I have goals, real goals with time lines and repercussions and rewards for success… but real life is kicking me in the tush!
Have you ever felt like there was a huge hand holding you down when you are trying to get back up? Sniffle I am talking weight of the world, people! It’s crushing, its maddening, and that just about wraps up the later part of last year.
Can I whine for a moment? No, I am not going to get all Dallas slap-happy or soap opera…pick one… sappy, but I am just going to take a moment to vent before I move along. Call it therapy, if you will. And if anyone needs any therapy of their own after this, I am available for conversation most days. I mean, I am definitely not trained and I don’t have issues- I have subscriptions- but I am good for a listening ear and a cup of tea. *g*
Where was I? Oh yeah… venting. Some People Suck! And I don’t mean in the nice way either! LOL But that’s not the vent… I’ll take that up later. LOL No, I was venting about the end of my year.
First, because you know I love order, the husband, then on to life in general…
As you know, Den was in a motorcycle wreck that still hasn’t been settled, he still has a drainage tube in his leg stemming from injuries to his leg for the accident back in September. As a result, he has not been working since September.
Finances are tight, but that’s not what gets me. it’s all the together time!
I love that man of mine. I love him put up with his family’s antics which I promised not to write about or use in any way shape or form… until the first kid is in college -next year woot!- and I didn’t kill him over the great hair chop of ’07, and I say nothing about his mistresses… the Triumph Tiger waiting patiently in the garage for his return or the newer girlfriend, the Rocket 3 who is still in the motor-hospital needing a full body overhaul. But now that he is feeling a lot better and mobile, he wants to do other than sex related things! LOL No, its not that bad, but he is bored. The life of a writer is so exciting… I research, do promo (wrong according to a lot of people who want me to pay them to do it for me), I write… I drink and eat when I remember…. I write… I watch porn with the headphones on and take notes (apparently taking notes kills the entertainment factor for him), I write… I am sure you get the picture. I spend a lot of time solo on the lap tops trying to get a book that will turn into a movie that will change the nation as we know it…. or at least one that will get great sales, and baby is bored. A bored Den will lead to several damaging things, including the Wreck of the Living Room, the threatening of the Ball Jointed Doll (What did Enin ever do to him… other than stare at him with those “eerie green eyes”, and extra cattery. Seriously, we have an extra cat…who sheds… who is much more cat like than pony-cat who acts mostly like a dog. I can’t get him to update this site, he won’t help research…other than telling me that he will never watch porn with me ever again, and he stairs out of the window like prisoner in one of those old French films about Bastille Day.
Serenity Now! But the good news is that he may be going back to work in about two weeks. Woo Hoo! I can hang on! I can do this! I will not hide in the attic… still no electricity up there.
Now on to life in general….
I am tired. I am so friggin tired. I stood by my man, but can I sit by him now instead?
I have given myself a killer schedule for the year and added a few new publishing houses- Beautiful Trouble Publishing (Hey Ladies!) and one other I will tell you about when I have a contract in my hot little hands! *g* I am giddy, people. There are some new things and different offerings coming up, but I officially dub 2013
The Year of Completion!
I will endeavor to finish each and every series I started. I have outlines, plot-lines, plot devices, and character references up the yin-yang! I have photos, graphs charts, Excelle Files, posters, reference books and lexicons from just about everything I ever got my grubby little fingers on. It’s going to be intense… but I am so tired! Sniffle And no coffee… I think I am coming down with acid reflux or an ulcer or a really bad case of Why-You-Rebel-On-Me-This-Late-Date-Stomach-itis with an occurrence of Why-You-Hurt-Me-Spice?! which can prove fatal to those around me if I don’t get hots on my subs…
Sniffle. But it could be worse. I could be passing another kidney stone… Not tempting fate or anything…. *g*
There are a lot more issues coming into play, chronic pain, loneliness, SAD (seasonal affected Depression- hey I am a creative writer, I am prone), lack of Raspberry Zingers from Hostess and no coffee for a time… and its starting to get me down.
But as I type this, I realize that maybe its not all that bad. Sure life is trying to kill me slowly and painfully, but I am still alive to fight. My kids are happy and healthy little spawns of the blond demon Dennis, my Mommy and Daddy still love me, my space heater still is pumping out the good stuff (osculating heat baby), and the demon husband thinks that I am the prettiest thing his blue eyes have ever beheld… I want to give him his glasses…but … if he is kind of blind then he can’t really see the dark rings under my eyes. LOL I have no great fortune, but I am one of the most fortunate people I know. I have friends and family and my created family, and I have worlds to play in and characters to torture… All in all, I guess I am not that bad off. It could be worse… I mean, someone like me could be writing my life like I treat my characters…. but… they always will have a happy ending. In reality, I guess I have to fight for mine.
So, thanks for the ear, or shall I say eye, that I just bent. I do feel better. And if I add a shot of rum to our tea cups from time to time, (if you are not allowed I’ll use cocoanut milk or high altitude lemon) I won’t tell if you won’t.