What's Been Happening…

A lot has been happening over the past two years… and I mean a lot. First I was on some really heavy meds for my Nail Patella Syndrome. If you wanna know what Nail Patela is, check out What ails me… So for about two years, I was in a medical haze, not as fun as it sounds, and I couldn’t concentrate on anything. It was a struggle just to make it through. Not even getting into the depression and frustration and anger of it all. Why me? What did I do wrong? Why am I handicapped?
Yeah, it was a bad time for everyone involved. I kind of missed a lot of my children’s lives and was a slug at home. Thank goodness they love me like that do cause some would have been angry or disappointed in me, but they hung in. I have an amazing support group. *g*
So one day after having a conversation with the owner of Changeling Press, the Marvelous Miss M, I realized I didn’t remember what was said and who it was said to. That was the turning point for me. I took a look at the five huge psychotropic drugs I was taking for pain control and flushed them down the toilet. I was done.
But… and there is always a but… I didn’t think about withdrawal. OMG, that was rough. An hour after not taking my appointed horse pills on time, the withdrawal started. I will spare you the ugly details and just say that I went through seven weeks of hell. The DT’s are no joke. I now know what a heroin addict’s withdrawal is like because that is how doctors described how it would be to come off of just one of my prescribed meds. I lost all the weight I gained and then some. I am back to being a skinny mini again. Grumble. But as of right now, I don’t have any pain meds to take on the regular and I am hurting. all the time. Chronic pain has made me its bitch and I am getting comfortable with that. Okay, I’m not, but I don’t want to go back on medications that are going to make me a zombie.
In the middle of all of this, my Mommy got gravely ill. I was running her to the hospital sometimes two or three times a week. My family sometimes are not the best people and there were some issues there, but we were dealing. Something major happened that kept me from my Mommy’s side and four months later, she was dead.
I am still torn up about that. I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, but Mommy knew I loved her and I know that she loved me more than anyone in the world. She was always my rock and thoughts of her keep me sane. At times when I am ready to Murder Death Kill, I can hear her voice and her wise counsel keeping me on track.
So that’s where I am right now, getting back on track. I have started writing again and am planning on finishing up a lot of series I started, including the Dragon’s Weir series, though it will have to be self-published. I am making plans to self-pub a lot of my backlist and move forward with the series that are being published through my houses as well.
I am trying now to revamp my website and get back to the business of creating worlds that we can escape too when we feel the need.
My mother was a nurse, she healed the body. My father was a supervisor for a Goldbond Building Company, he created homes. I am a dreamer and a writer, I create places where the impossible is possible and you can let your senses and emotions run wild and free.
Welcome to my world… again. I hope you stay and journey with me.
Love you, Loves!
Stephanie ‘Flash” Burke