How long had it been since I last saw daylight? How long had it been since I felt the warmth of the sun on my flesh, or moved without pain or fear? How long had it been since I felt hope?
My muscles burned with the effort to hold me somewhat upright. My hearing strained as I moved, hoping they would not find me again. They wanted what I had. They wanted to possess me, to own me, to rip away my freedom, my soul, and my reason. They wanted me as they had left all the others who dared attempt what I was doing — mad, gibbering, and insane. It was not a fate I would accept. I would not be like the others, the lost and confused, terrified husks of what they used to be. That was not my fate.
So I crawled, holding in my whimpers of agony, praying to whoever was listening that I would make it through this with mind and soul intact.
Something was running down my face — tears, blood, something worse — I didn’t know. But it was there, and the fact that I could feel it told me one thing: it was warming up. I had been numb for so long, so cold, so frozen, and then suddenly I could feel.
Warmth. It enveloped me; it caressed my stinging face, turning away the burn of so many scratches and scrapes. It caressed my arms, flooded my veins and surrounded me with light; the light that is all good and welcoming. I shivering from the force of holding myself upright, straining with the effort of holding the book closer to me.
And then I heard someone speak.
My name rolled off his tongue, his voice a foreign, exotic thing that made my flesh tingle and my spirit yearn for what used to be so many days before.
“You don’t have to be afraid,” he whispered. I felt the words surround me, the brush of his warm flesh like the gentle movement of wings as soft as down as he slid in behind me.
But with his words, a fear so great filled me that I couldn’t move. Suddenly I was so very afraid, and his arms were so very warm and familiar.
How could he feel so safe and warm when all I could feel was a growing horror? Confused tears ran down my cheeks, and I began to tremble in earnest.
“Let me help you,” he insisted, pulling me closer to a well muscled, dependable chest, a chest that offered protection and so many wonderful unspoken things that I found myself leaning into him as much as I could. “I just want to help ease your burden, if only for a time.”
He sounded so sad for me that I wanted to comfort him, to tell him some polite lie, despite my obvious predicament — anything to get the sorrow out of his voice.
Then I realized something. The sudden warmth, him just being there, the feeling of comfort I felt…
“I am dead.” I forced the words out from between my cracked lips. “I am dead, and you are here to lead me into the light. I have failed.” The words rasped my sore throat, sending fresh waves of agony through me while at the same time they confused me.
How could I feel pain if I were dead? Was I now being punished for my arrogance? I managed to tighten my fingers around the book, feeling its leather bindings bite into my skin.
“No, you are not dead.” His breath caressed my ear. It made me shiver and began to awaken my blood in a completely different way. “I will not let you die.”
Then suddenly the hard rocky ground beneath me was as soft as a bed of feathers. I whimpered as I sank into the comfort it offered, easing the agony my knees had become.
“I would never lie to you,” he assured me in his dark, chocolaty voice, and then I could feel his hands running slowly up and down my arms, skirting along the one that held the book. “I could never do that to you. I can’t tell a lie.”
I began to shudder again but not from the cold. I wanted to turn my head to look at him, this man who was fast becoming my salvation, but I still couldn’t move much, and suddenly a fluffy softness covered my eyes.
He loomed over me, his body fitting perfectly against my back, the roundness of my bottom settling perfectly against his groin, his thighs backing mine. And everywhere I touched him there was growing need, heat, and light.
One of his hands caressed my stomach, just below where I clutched my precious book, then slid downward, his pinkie barely brushing my pubic bush, sending fire racing through my blood.
“Let me ease you,” he said. I quivered as my body began to burn in a very good way.
I knew I had to go on, to keep moving and not stray from my given path, but would there be harm in taking a small break, in accepting what he so generously offered? I could allow my bruised body some pleasure before I moved on to what could very well be my doom.
I am not a hero. I am not some great warrior filled with righteous justice and the urge to be just what others expect of me. I could never be that. I was too human, too fragile, too filled with fears and anticipations, and pain and expectations that were all too selfish to allow me to be a hero.
Yet I could be allowed this one break in the agony my life had become. I would be free of my burdens for just one brief moment.
“I-I,” I managed, holding back the pitiful sob lodged in my throat. “I-I…”
“Shh,” he whispered. His free hand wrapped around my shoulders and eased me back upright. “Don’t speak.”
I felt the touch of his wings pulling me in closer, and then I was filled with light once more. My breath tore through me, my heart pounding, my mind mixing into a jumble of contradictions.
I hurt, but the hurt was less. I hungered, but a different hunger was growing. I ached, but the ache had moved into more private places. I wanted, but the want to succeed in this venture was morphing into a great, horrific need for sexual gratification.
I could feel the firm softness of his cock as it came alive against the skin of my bottom, the damp tip sliding along the crack of my ass. I felt it moving and growing, I felt its heat and its strength, and it made my knees weak and my pussy wet.
I relaxed into him fully, feeling all his heat and his maleness, feeling the protection he offered and his desire.
Yes, I felt his desire and I matched it. I wanted him.
“You are beautiful,” he whispered, a hand leaving my body to run through the tangled, twisted mess my hair had become. “I can feel your determination, little one.” He breathed against the shell of my ear. “I can feel your strength. I can feel your hunger. It all calls to me.”
I could do this. After all I had endured, all I knew I had yet to face, I could take a little pleasure for myself. I am no hero — I am not that noble — and I am that selfish.
“P-Please?”
My voice sounded weak and tortured, and painfully fearful, but I asked. I needed him now.
And then all was him as I regained my ability to move.
He was there, above me, surrounding me, and he felt so right. The veil of his feathers that shielded my eyes fell away. Finally I could turn my head and see him, and God, he was so beautiful. His dark, flowing hair fell around him, around us, blocking out the bleak and lifeless landscape. His skin was golden, dewed with the sweat of his excitement and so supple and soft. His chest was a massive thing, made of all those things that made a man a man. His lightly furred arms shook as they tightened around me, urging me to take him all in.
His eyes were of the brightest green, like perfect emeralds gazing down at me with utter joy.
“Let me,” he begged, his breath smelling of cinnamon and vanilla. “Let me have you.”